this isn't a blog post. it's just my thoughts. if you don't have the time, don't read it.
sometimes, matters of the heart is difficult to inteprete, isn't it? it's amazing how one can get so attracted to the other and when it's reciprocated, it all seems like a fairy-tale ending. the princess meets the prince, the prince meets the princess and they live happily ever after.
3 days ago, on sunday, where i attended church. besides the pastor sharing about friendship during sermon, he also talked about how to choose the right partner/handling relationship etc. and he said, that us as teenagers, as we start to grow, we'll start to have special feelings on the other party.
however, many teenagers don't know what's real love. most like the other party because he/she is handsome/pretty/cute etc. and he said it as puppy love. it's sad how some people actually "chooses" their partner this way.
when choosing the right partner, firstly, you have to of course get attracted to the opposite gender. then, ask yourself! is his life similar to yours? maybe this problem wouldn't affect you both when both of you are in a relationship. but it will, in future.
example, if both of you are of different religions, when you have a child, who is he/she gonna follow? the father or the mother. and if you're unable to get to a conculsion, wouldn't you foresee yourself quarrelling with your partner thus worsening the relationship.
sometimes, love is all about compromise. if both sides won't compromise, wouldn't things get awkward? but of course, love wouldn't work out if both sides keep on compromising. it's about one taking it in, and the other giving in. it doesn't have to always be the male side who always have to give in. just imagine, if you keep on giving in to the other though there're certain times that you're right, ... how'd you feel?
love is about selflessly giving. in order to keep a relationship going, we'd have to give our care and concern to the other selflessly. don't wait for the other to start giving first, because if both of you have the same concept, this would not work out. it's the same thing as respect, if you want others to respect you, you'd have to respect others first. similarly, if you want others to give you care and concern you'd have to be the one giving first.
love is about taking the initiative. okay, let's say you like this girl/guy for quite a while already, but you don't have the courage to say it out. and then you wait and wait, you see them getting attached, dating and then married.
wouldn't you feel sad, and guilty that you didn't confess? now, it's not about your pride/face, it's about your happiness. the decision you make would affect yourself in future. if you pick up the courage and confess now, who knows? the other has always been waiting for you to make the move.
but even if your love is one-sided, and your hopes turned out to be a disappointment, it's okay! it's not like it's the end of the world, isn't it? you're
just hurt. in life, this journey isn't smooth-sailing. we do fall, we do stand up. you may live in self-denial for a while, but not forever. if we keep on living in the past, who's gonna take over the 'you' in the future?
you have to pick your ownself up. even if you give up on love, give up on hopes, give up on your life, some may console/encourage you. but nobody's gonna pity you. so wake up to your senses, and move on because if you aren't meant for this person, it just simply means that there'll be a better one in future.
love is about inner beauty within. when you really like a person, it isn't about the appearance. it's his/her personality, behaviour, attitude that attracts you. never judge a book by its cover. it may be a pretty face on the outside, but who's gonna guarantee you that it's pretty heart within? choose someone who gets along with you most, because that part is going to matter when both of you are growing old together.
love is about respect. when you're in love, it's just like two hearts merged as one. however, you're still yourself, and your partner's still his/herself. as much as you have your circle of friends, they too have, theirs. you can't possibly stick to them like .. , thinking that this would make the relationship feel closer. perhaps, they might not mind initially, but in the long run, it's gonna backfire.
he/she may be your world, but sometimes, love is just like a kite. you're the one holding the string, the other party's the kite. he/she feels so far yet so near, so near yet so far. you have to learn how to let the string loosen, and you have to know when to tighten. if you're able to do so, i believe that this love is meant to last.
love is all about communication. it can be through any methods, calling/sms-ing/msn whatever. you might not be able to see each other everyday, but sometimes that can be really a good thing. because when you're not able to see the one you like, you'll start to miss him/her and that's when you start to treasure him/her more.
and that would make you wanna talk to him/her more, to at least indicate you still care for him/her. and by knowing how much you miss him/her, it just signifies how important that person is to you. don't make the other party feel that you need him/her more than he/she does, because that's when he/she would start to take you for granted.
and when one makes a mistake, if it's true love, you'd give him/her a second chance. sometimes, it's only when one starts to lose something, then they'd know how to cherish. certain people are like that.
love is about responsibility. it's not just about having fun together. when in a relationship, it must also be on a basis where each other's willing to take charge of each other's future, ensuring that it's the best, that you wouldn't want to see the other hurt, sad, angry .. etc. basically, just taking responsibility in his/her emotions, actions, words.
love is about being selfless. putting the other ahead of yourself, taking care of his/her needs, wants. however, you must also know that there's a certain extent. if what he/she wants is something that would ruin your 人格，then he/she is not worthy of your love. and when your feelings aren't returned, sometimes, the best thing that you can give is your blessing, your blessing for him/her to be happy always.
however, it's sad how certain people twisted that logic, and by just suddenly leaving without any reason, instead of inflicting minimal hurt to the other party, it inflicts the most hurt instead. isn't that ironic? leaving because it's for the other party's good, however at the end of the day, he/she made the other suffer instead?
and when all of that has happened, all they do is to run away from reality, run away from the other party. and feel sad themselves, but if there's really a reason why there's such a need to seperate, why not explain and come up with a solution? even if seperating is unavoidable, at least both knows the reason why and maybe the hurt might be further reduced.
sometimes, avoiding and running away from the problems hurts the other party more than letting them know the truth instead.
..... O.O
whether you believe it or not, i haven't been in love, neither have i liked somebody before. this is just what i feel upon seeing everybody around who i know has been/still is in a relationship. and based on
experience observation, i feel that when all of the above can be fulfilled, i guess that's love.
it's either love or just, nothing .and when it's not, learn how to pick yourself up and move on .
