Lie, cause' i've heard it all before.
The same game goes around and around.
But I still end up with nothing, but hurting .


4 days.

♥Sunday, May 31, 2009

5 more days till mummy comes home! ~
i can't wait to see her back! :DDD
i miss her so so much. :/

♥Saturday, May 30, 2009

22nd may 2009;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTEEmortal! ♥
today;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNNtwin! ♥

Get to know yourself better.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i know i've done this, ages ago. but i decided to do it again.
to see how much i've changed.
looks like i've grown to the mature side, i think. ^^
-

sports day's just tomorrow, and i feel i'm not really ready, mentally.
talking about it, some of the 4C people went to the gym yesterday! :D
i feel accomplished to do:
-3.5km of running.
-65.7 floors of stepping on steps.
-50 leg extension, lifting weight LOL.
-3km of cycling.
-a few push ups? hahaha. :P

and then, after that we were warmly welcome by bananas.
which was supposedly heard from eugene that it'd make our legs feel better and not ache so much.
thanks, eugene for the bananas!
*ROARROAR* for you, LOL. (ps. inside joke.)

200 metres and 4 x 400metres, am i really ready for the challenge? :/
oh yep, .. today's like the "last day" of school and i've received a form by mrs neo.
to see hod of mathematics for failing 5 subjects. ):
haiiiiiii.

talking about that, my mummy just went overseas to indo this afternoon.
i'm missing her already.

♥Thursday, May 28, 2009

Alright, details first. (:

-

19th may 2009.
immediately after the last paper, we got home.
dressed up and proceeded to the kbox at ehub.
with, xiuwen roslin edwina chunluan jing yong eugeneng and yinglei.
so throughout the 5 hours,
we sang emo songs and happy songs.









to the extent that we started screaming into the microphone LOL.
"SUPER NO. ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ~*

after all that, played dance para para at arcade,
before going home with chun luan and xiu wen.
while the rest went for dinner. (:

TODAY WAS PERFECT! :DDDDDDDD

everything went according to the plan! (:
the surprise, the cake, the present ........ everything! ^^

so we met up at 12 at kembangan platform and proceeded to city hall.
all of us dressed up, and went out together without wearing school uniform for the first time! :D
and we had different patterns or plain colours on our shirts,
except for yuqi, who had a fantastic quote on her shirt! (TAKE NOTICE!)
LOL, so our first stop was to get to the singapore flyer!
fly, fly, fly! ~ (:

while we were buying tickets, everyone took out their money, including naveeda!
surprise #01! ;
treat our dearest lovely birthday girl to singapore flyer! :P
it's like her reaction was like ..
"don't want la. i feel so bad and then blush, and say okay."
when we convinced her that it was her birthday gift. (:

20th may 2009, 2pm.
we got onto the cabin, ahhhhhhhhhhh! :DDDDD
and we were so so happy when we were told that we can have the whole cabin to ourselves!
ps. usually during weekends, the place's quite crowded with tourists so it's normally shared.

"can we scream at the top of our lungs in this cabin?"
when we were told by the staff, that they can't hear us once the cabin is closed.
we started screaming and hooraying once it closed.
and ... they stared at us.
okay, ... means the glass isn't soundproof. LOL.

imagine 6 crazy people running around the cabin.
and viewing the whole of singapore.
but seriously, i was feeling a little scared when we were so high up.
OKAY FINE, make that very scared hahhahahahahahha!

it's obvious that there was camwhoring and taking sceneric views of the sea.
but it's still such a pity that it's only half an hour! ):
oh wells, nonetheless, we did have a lot of fun. ;D
the peak, 165m high (!!!!!!)

i think people were thinking we're crazy or something.
we kept waving to people we didn't know, aunties uncles ah beng ah lian shuai ge meinv small boy small girl ... pilots! hahahahahaha!
teeeheeeee, so after we got down.

we kind of dragged time for ridz and yuqi to prepare for surprise #02! :D
meanwhile, roslin, xiuwen and yours truly took the birthday girl to camwhore!
and within about half an hour, we went to the bridge below to wait for the other two!
NAVEEDA.WAS.EXTREMELY.SHOCKED.TO.SEE.TONS.OF.WATER.BOMBS.
hahahahahha! (:

surprise #02! ; we made her believed that we were playing games and teaming up.
but in actual fact, we are all teaming up against her for the game, called bull's eye! LOL.
16 water bombs each, since she was sweet sixteen.
and at the end, our dearest girl got so drenched, from head to toe.
we're not that wet though, teeheehee! :D ~

that's when we gave naveeda her gift + our cards! ^^V
she was so touched reading it that she hugged all of us, awwwwwwwww. (:
we then reluctantly walked to the esplanade, roof terrace.
because we were all so drained out by the chasing and running previously, haha!
while walking ..

christy; "why is the present called, a present! because, .. it is a gift! :D"
the rest; *laughs*
yuqi; *PULL LONG FACE!*

upon reaching the roof terrace, we did nothing much actually.
besides, talking camwhoring talking camwhoring lol!
lalllallaalalalalalalal, and so cause our stomachs was grumbling. <- DID I GET THAT RIGHT LOL!
we went to marina square for dinner!

yumyumyum, so after eating, we tricked naveeda again!
surprise #03! ;
act like we're going to the toilet, but instead, we went to get her birthday cake! :DD
okay, maybe we did went to the toilet, and xiuwen headed in the wrong direction, LOL.
i mean, instead of going back into the shopping mall, she walked towards the dead end instead! :P
hahahahahahahahaha!

bought oreo cheese for her! and then realised that the matches were with yuqi.
and blur sotong yuqi left it in the bag which she placed the cards with that's given to naveeda.
luckily through ridzuan, we got it just on time to surprise her yet again.
but it's so funny how naveeda could see through our plan, yet get so confused at the same time.
"i have a feeling this day isn't over yet." hahahahaha!

and the feeling's just great when ridzuan is able to understand mandarin with all of us.
and naveeda couldn't.
so half the time, she didn't had any idea what was going on! lol!
after all that surprises, birthday girl settled down to eat the cake.
and smashes us with cream, but of course, we had our sweet revenge! (:

after all that fun, it was quite late, so we got home through mrt.
on the mrt,
"why is the present, called the present? because .. it is a gift! (:"
LOL, YUQI WAS SO ANNOYED WITH ME REPEATING THAT 10 TIMES.
because that was the quote on her shirt! haaahahahahahahahahahaa.

today was just so memorable. :DDD
and ridzuan's sms made me miss today already!
awwwwwwwwwww. ):

still, not forgetting there's school tomorrow.
but then again, today was such a blast!
however, it'd be more perfect if chunluan was around! ~~~

♥Wednesday, May 20, 2009

mid year exam's finally over! :D
well, exams are not really exactly over, but ..
at least the end of mye is something to rejoice about! (:

kbox today was love to the maximummmmmmmm! [:
we were super highhhh + i don't feel so awkward. :P
well, as compared to the previous time.

and tomorrow's lovely surprise birthday celebration for naveeda! ^^
full day out! :3
i can't wait, woohoooooo! ~

details, hopefully by tomorrow. (:
anyways!
it's like we're already planning our june holidays LOL.
sentosa on the 1st of june 2009! :DDDDDD
the 7 of us! :B
it should be ongoing unless .. mtp session is at some weird hour that day. ._.








talking about that, i'm so not looking forward to the results actually. ._.

but for now,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAVEEDA! ♥

♥Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i want to run away, run away from reality .

♥Saturday, May 16, 2009

i know it's hard to get to see me to post long long entries, but my apologies.
it's not a happy one. :/
sorry.

or so, you'd say.
i was feeling bored.
and so i took a venture back into my archives, back into 2006.

-

and as i read through, there were happy times.
there were sad times, there were crazy times.
there were fun times, there were silly times.
there were angry times, there were confused times.

i could not believe that i used to be so .. immature.
i could not believe that i used to be so .. complain-ish.
i could not believe that i used to be so .. open with my thoughts.
i could not believe that i used to be so .. hot-tempered. (OKAY MAYBE I STILL AM-.-)
i could not believe that i used to be so .. lame.
i could not believe that i used to be so .. happy go lucky.
most of all,
i could not believe that i used to be so .. funny, and clingy.

- ;
until i read my archives, i didn't realise that i used to priortize you all so much.
my every post, has your every name, your existance.
everybodyknowsthatweweretogether,asone.
i felt that we were so close last time.
so close to the extent, that i'll miss you all, even on weekends.

do you all remember, we used to do so much stupid things together.
because we were so young and childish then.
we don't discriminate, we don't isolate, we don't ostracize.
we were .. amoral.
all we wanted was just .. fun and company.

and in spite of difficult times, we've spent it all, or so i thought.
you all were there when i was happy.
you all were there when i was sad.
you all were there when i was angry.
you all were there when i was troubled.
you all were there when i was confused.
and ... i really felt fortunate to have you all as my close friends.
REALLY, FORTUNATE.

well, as i read these archives of 2006, it brings back to me bittersweet memories.
sometimes, the things that we've done, sounded so ridiculous that i really laughed so hard.
on the other hand, some of the things seemed so wonderful that i couldn't help but feel bitter instead.
why must good things come to an end?

maybe, the massive amount of lies was just too hard for me to take.

i stopped being lame, i stopped being clingy, maybe .. i stopped being funny.
i started .. closing up.
and to push myself to catch up with your pace, was simply so difficult.
even so, it hurts me when you all told me i did not try, my best.

i stopped believing in this; friends are forever.

all of us growing mature, all of us getting closer.
perhaps made the unpleasant memories go away.
or maybe it was the time, that made the pain fade.
somehow or rather, i sort of "clicked" back into the group.

though i admit, there were really times i felt really happy.
there were also times, i felt, i couldn't fit in, at all.
and sometimes, i can't help but get pissed over the fact that you all made me sound out.
to be like sec 1, so easily agitated and angered, when i'm not.

thinking back, i realised so much things has changed.
perhaps, it was due to keeping things to self kind of behaviour, made you all feel that i don't trust you all.
so whenever i'm feeling down, you all won't know.
but somehow, i can't help but wish that you all were still there for me when i really needed you all.
maybe you all have been there, perhaps i'm just not aware of it.

i felt our friendship was broken, within me.
i could no longer find the happygolucky behaviour in me.
i have no idea how to make you all feel that you all are really important to me.
maybe i shouldn't have existed, at least in your world.
or anyone else's.

i also found out that i have very very low self esteem, despite being a leader.
i feel so inferior when i'm with you all.
till today, we're still together.
but one thing that never changed is that:
i am still very dependent, on you all.
perhaps, my best memories was actually .. you all.

i'm still trying to search back for what was taken away.
but it seems that we've stopped trying to care for one another.
or maybe that was what i thought.

i don't know if i should really let go of our friendship.
or to continue to hold on.
but the harder you try to pull a friendship back.
the further it goes.

so .. i chose to let this out.
because i cherished you all so.
but i don't know why, i keep having a feeling.
to run away, from the truth, from you all, from reality.

we used to be so happy together.
what happened to us now?

so have i changed, .. or have you all changed?

♥Friday, May 15, 2009

why can't i just find the motivation .

♥Thursday, May 14, 2009

geography down!
chemistry and literature tomorrow! O:

DIE DIE DIE.
STRUGGLING TO STUDY CHEMISTRY AND LIT.
till.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
yuqi told me that lit paper 1's is to kill a mocking bird and unseen prose.
and not a midsummer night's dream.
OMG OMG, i studied the wrong thing. -.-"
argh!

just a few more papers to go,
jiayou to everyone! :DDD
hang in there! ~

i guess, .. i'm being too sensitive again .

♥Tuesday, May 12, 2009

and so, i started thinking, thinking too much again.

-

what if i said, i'm sad?
yeah, right. who cares anyway.

i'm a strong girl.
i am?

ironic .

♥Sunday, May 10, 2009

8th may 2009;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! ♥

9th may 2009;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELA GIRLFRIEND! ♥

done with social studies and maths.
next to conquer, geographyyyyy! :DDDD
with mortal's motivation, yes i can do it! ~ (:

ps. i feel so lazy to update nowadays. ~_~

i shouldn't have said it .
i must have been a lousy angel right, sorry.

♥Saturday, May 09, 2009

it's only the 3rd day of the mid year examinations.
and i've already screwed up my languages. ~_~
oh wells, but that also marks the end of my languages exam.
time to concentrate on humanities, sciences and mathematics now! ~

social studies, maths tomorrow! ~~~
chiong ahhhhhh! ~~~~~~~~ (:

♥Thursday, May 07, 2009

was this the right thing to do?

-

midyear is around the corner.
so gambatte everyone! ~ :DDD
i'll try to post entries if time allows it.
if not, after 19th may okay! (:

♥Monday, May 04, 2009

did a lot of soul searching.
and somehow, there's this sudden fact that i've finally came to realize.
knowledge learnt;
it takes a lot of time and effort to know one person's true self.
yes, it looks easy.
but when you really boil down to putting in the time, effort, and patience.
then, it'd dawn upon you how tiring and dweary it gets.
and you'll feel like giving up.

but when you finally grasp it,
there's this undescribed happiness you have within you.
and because of this.

i know you better now, and i'm not going to give up on our friendship .

♥Sunday, May 03, 2009